Should I Cancel My Wedding?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

This is an unprecedented time so in reality, your wedding plans may need to change but we will get you married. For the hundreds of #girlbossbrides getting married this year I want you to know the entire wedding industry, myself included, is here for you. The light in all of this for me has been seeing how friends, families, and communities come together. I want to have a virtual happy hour with every one of you!

One of my mantras is, The Girlbossbride Guide brings the world-wide wedding web to your fingers. In this post, I’m going to do my best to pull together the best information and recommendations I’ve found as we’ve navigated this crazy week. Here we go!

should I cancel my wedding

who

Anyone who is getting married in the next 18 months should start having conversations about their Plan B. I am an eternal optimist who believes the more you talk about Plan B, the less likely you are to need it.

I also suggest you check-in on your gown delivery. Per ABC News, “The Green Bride shop in Littleton, Colorado, typically receives up to 60 wedding dresses shipped from China each month from February through May. In February, it received only four.” As China recovers hopefully things will pick up but production will be behind.

Spring Couples

If you’re planning an April or May wedding now is the time to create and execute your Plan B. For many this means still saying their vows privately and postponing the celebration. I cover the action steps you should be taking under “HOW”.

June & July Couples

I am advising couples to rethink what their wedding looks like. Hopefully, we’ll be out of quarantine but without a known treatment or cure, precautions will need to be taken. Those over 65 or with pre-existing health conditions should likely not attend. Travel should be limited. This New York Times article has some great travel advice including, “..taking shorter flights and avoiding connections if possible. If your flight is three hours long or less, Dr. Abramson said that staying in your seat for the entire flight might be the best option to limit your contact with other passengers and airplane crew.”

Consider a smaller wedding with your closest friends and family as planned and a larger party when things return to normal. Chat with your venue about splitting the contract and minimum spend between two dates. Friday evenings could be a great option for the celebration, traditionally offering move savings than a Saturday.

If you live in a less affected area of the country and most of your guests are local you may be able to move forward as planned.

August Couples

I’m singling August out because there are a lot of August #girlbossbrides in this community AND I’m very hopeful about this late summer period. There is a theory that, like the flu, COVID-19 will naturally start to die off as the weather gets warmer. Stuart Weston, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, where the virus is being actively studied says, “I hope it will show seasonality, but it’s hard to know,”. By August we’ll know how this theory holds up. For an early August wedding, I would typically be sending out invites in mid-May. The next 45 days of COVID-19 will be very telling so by that time we’ll have a much better sense of how things are looking.

I recommend contacting your venue and understanding their postponement policies and what alternate available dates they can offer. Ask if you’re able to request a “first right of refusal” hold on the alternate date.

Fall Couples

Out of an abundance of caution, I would start to talk about Plan B. Contact your venue and inquire about open winter dates you may be able to postpone to. There are so many unknowns right now and with so many Spring/Summer weddings being postponed, available alternate dates will start to diminish.

Talk to your venue and understand their postponement policies. Review your contracts and understand when your next large payments are due. I suggest revisiting this conversation before your next payment date and then again before you send out invitations.

Winter Couples

You have time on your side. My hope is that we’ll be back to “normal life” and everyone will be more than ready to celebrate with you. Out of caution, I would suggest reviewing your contracts and understanding when large payments are due. Plan to re-evaluate the situation before those payments.

Should I cancel my wedding

What

I think we’re all a little tired of the “c” word. You need to make an educated decision so read up and then I think it’s best to do a news de-tox. After writing this post I’m vowing not to read the news for more than 15 minutes at the end of the day. More and this virus will take over my brain and spiritual space.

Should I cancel my wedding

Where

EVERYWHERE. We all have to do this social distancing thing if it’s going to work. I’m a straight shooter and I have to say I was bothered by the images of people in Florida on packed beaches as healthcare workers in major cities were making their own masks to help save lives. Now is the time to band together and do what we can to stop this thing.

Should I cancel my wedding

When

Have the conversations now. And set a decision date. If you talk about the what-ifs every day it will take the joy out of planning.

should I cancel my wedding

Why

Because at the end of the day we will get you married. That and the health of your family and friends are all that matters right now.

should I cancel my wedding

How

I’m going to break down the conversations I’ve been having with venues and couples all week.

1. Check-in to see how your venue/caterer is currently handling the situation. What do they consider a postponement vs. a cancelation? Many I have spoken to will gladly move your date and deposit to a new date within their current fiscal year. Beyond that and the cancelation clause may apply. Make a list of your alternate date options and confirm which dates work with the majority of your dream team (vendors). Should you need to move the date you can send a simple postable or postcard to your guests with this suggested language

“In light of the current global pandemic and social distancing recommendations, we have made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding. We look forward to celebrating with you in the future. An invitation will follow with our new wedding date. With love, (Couple’s Names)”

Eden Denevan

2. If you have wedding insurance understand what it covers. Every policy is different but many will only cover cancelation or postponement is the couple becomes seriously ill. According to a report by Bloomberg insurance companies have stopped issuing cancelation policies.

3. Decide to move the wedding date OR set a date to reconvene and re-evaluate your options. Take note of the next payment date in your contract and set your decision date before that next payment. Review your cancelation clause. Many are tiered so if moving your wedding into next year is going to be considered a cancelation you’ll want to do that before the next tier of your clause takes effect.

4. Delay your invitation mailing if you haven’t already mailed. Historically invitations are sent 8-11 weeks in advance. In recent years I’ve seen couples move this up further. In these times I would stick to the 8-11 week mark to give yourself the most flexibility. Work with your printer to understand when you would need to give final approval to move to print.

5. Decide how you’d like to handle a potential postponement. Would you still like to get married privately and celebrate later?

6. Give yourself permission to let go of the little things. I know a lot of couples have had favors and small things printed with their original wedding date. Don’t go to the expense of re-printing. Your guests will understand and it could be a fun “time capsule” moment.